Friday, February 22, 2013

Letters to My Son

Кэнт Нэрбүрний "Хүүдээ захих үгс" гээд гайхалтай гоё ном байна. Мan and Male бүлгээс хэдэн мөр оруулъя. Personal notes from "Letters to My Son" - a terrific book by Kent Nerburn. Chapter 2 - Man and Male.

My father was not an extraordinary man. There could be no epics written about his accomplishments. But he was a good man. He never harmed another person willingly, and he was always ready to do a kindness for those in need.

For the last ten years I have watched him slowly lose interest in life.

He is not unhappy. He is beyond unhappiness. He is depleted and defeated by those losses that have taken all sense of self-worth from him. First it was his job, then his physical strength, and finally any sense of usefulness that gave him a way to value his presence on earth.

It is sad thing to see. All of us still love him and respect him and honor him as the father, but he no longer loves and honors and respects himself. His world and his body have betrayed him.

How did such a thing happen? How could a man who was always strong suddenly become so weak? Why did he give up when the horizons of life still stretched out to unknown distances before him?

I am afraid he gave up because he no longer considered himself a man.

. . . . . . . . .

Why should he, who started with nothing and accomplished so much, feel that his manhood is gone?

The answer is harsh but clear. He confused being a male with being a man.

Being a male is part of our biological coding. It has to do with strength, domination, territoriality, competition, and a host of other traits that were essential in the days when dominance was the key to human survival.

Being a man is something different. It is taking these male traits and forming them into a life that meets the demands of the world around you while serving the needs of others. It is action in service of a dream. It is being grounded in belief while reaching for the stars.

. . . . . . . . .

I want to you to consider this distinction as you go forward in life. Being male is not enough; being a man is a right to be earned and an honor to be cherished. I cannot tell you how to earn that right or deserve that honor. But I can tell you that the information of your manhood must be conscious act governed by the highest vision of the man you want to be.

As you reach for that vision, the echoes of the male will always be with you. The competitive, the dominating, the great sexual urgency and desire for outreach will always whisper. But if you are able to transform them, these male attributes will become the true measures of manhood - strength and honor and moral force; courage, sacrifice, and confidence of touch.

So acknowledge your male characteristics. Celebrate them. Honor them. Turn them into a manhood that serves the world around you. But do not let them overwhelm you and do not let those who confuse maleness and manhood take your manhood from you.

. . . . . . . . .

Measure your greatness by the length of your reach, but also by the gentleness of your touch. For now, the world needs hands that love, not hands that conquer. Let your hands be among them.

Доорхи линкээр ороод номыг нь аваарай.
Buy it, read it, and give it as a present to others you care.